haiz...emo again..dun know is numb leh..or i should feel angry....dad kana hit by bro and sis in law again...everytime also do this kind of things...i'm starting to lose faith in god and heaven...maybe i should install something in the house that'll stop this..luckily my mum didn't commit suicide successfully...no wonder my eye keep twitching this whole day....


really is...dun know what to say...why dad got so much fats on his belly???if he has less fats then the injuries will be obvious...report police also no use...mum sure say nth happen and side with him...haiz..really is...haiz...haiz and haiz....my mood totally spoil by him everytime...


didn't went for work today..cos tristan woke up extremely early this morning and i didn't had a good sleep and got headache...

was watching this short show on channel u...it was showing the different childhood places of some people...and how much do they miss it...thinking back..my childhood place is in sembawang...since young..jog to sembawang beach with my sister..then will enjoy the senary there...strolling down the beach to pick up sea shells^.^.....growing up...talks at my sembawang house staircase with charissa...or at her house until i fell asleep..=)..

suddenly miss my childhood memories too..=) moving forward in life..i think it's important always to look back at where we come from and not to forget the little things and people that develop us into who we are today..=)


raw~~today is Monday...the most boring day of the week...felt so depressing..more and more depressing working there..dun know how long can i hold on...but luckily my temps keep making me laugh so i felt better. =)

sorry..i didn't wan to quarrel with you..but i think that you really dun understand me even if you've been with me for 8 months...u know that i'm weak...i really need support and you can say things like maybe i dun even need a listening ear....i do need one...but are you one? this sentence that you say pierce in through my heart..really wonder everytime when i talk to you, do you seriously care about me..haz..why do i care that for..you're not even with me now...so dun even need to bother about me...but i'm truly disappointed with you and i know even more that the decision i made wasn't wrong...

if i were to live and marry someone in my life...i must be able to feel that connection between us...a mutual feeling..sorry to say that you are not able to give me that kind a feeling...really is most of the time only crying..

i think i enjoy my single life now...happy to be myself...and will continue to be like this until one day really meet the correct person...


yesterday went for hair treatment with sis at bishan...god..waited for 3 hrs for the hair dresser to assist us..erm..dun think i will go back there again...so god damn long...anyway went a little shopping with sis to buy dad's clothes...mum's clothes maybe next week then bring her go buy...a little bored at home...going to tidy my cupboard later...new year is coming..dun really feel excited except for the hong bao money that i'm going to get..just feel like wearing t shirt and jeans to my relative house to bai nian...hehe...


my life sucks..at least for today....dun understand why do i have such a brother and sis in law...giving birth to baby and throwing to us to take care...forget it...shouting at my dad and mum..forget it...throwing away my dad's stuff to street make him pick it up in the rain..forget it...throwing me out of the house forget it...at least these 2 years..i thought that i have gotten used and will tolerate...tolerate until Tristan has grown up and all these will end...

now..he and his wife..dun know whose main idea..anyway no difference..wants to sell away the house...i hope sis can stop them...if he really sells away the house and buy his condo and move it with his family..where are we going to stay...last time..i thought about moving out alone..now..how am i going to move my parents if we gets chase out...dun understand..very disappointed with human race...suddenly felt that no one can be trusted in this world..down payment was paid by my dad and mum's money..how can they take it away to buy a condo saying that if they still have money left, only then they'll return to my mum...

is heaven really watching above???if he is, then why are things still like that??so that can make my wish come true? by slimming down? i guess if one day we really have no road to walk, i might have to work on sat and sun ba..to earn more money...then i think i really will slim down to the max..will save every penny that i have just to make sure my family is supported...a totally different shuyun from now..

at least if sis stops them now..till i reach 21, i'll pay for the house together with her..but if i were to get married in future..i would want to say sorry to my future husband..because if we buy our own house in future, i won't have the first time buyer's grant..which is around $15000 like what sis says...to me..family is very important now...money..i can earn and save together with my future husband if he wants to...haha..that is at least i'll find a bf and get married...think no one will want me..a problematic girl...problems at work..problems in family..problematic character..so quiet and anti-social..

today at work..i practically day dream..i really couldn't concentrate on my work..i was thinking of all kinds of way to buy a flat...haha..i even thought of marrying a rich guy...stupid day dream..think no rich man will fall in love with me ba..even he is..he must be selfish kind..argh..whatever....stupid thinking running inside my head now..i miss you..miss the hug and the jia you that you'll give me..just a simple sentence it can give me strength to carry on...but i guess you've forgotten about me..

10 more months to become 21...like what i've always thought of..21 is the year whereby all the responsibilities will start to come in..but i didn't thought of it'll come so fast...but it's quite cool actually..21 years old, my name is in half of the flat...have to do this..if not sis can't cope...the expenses are too high...just hope heaven really can see and then i'll strike lottery or something that can buy a flat for us to stay. =) just a shelter over our heads i'm happy enough...


sunday again..tmr is a working day..all i hope is all will go well tmr and no one bullying me again=(..

anyway today went out with Daniel to shop for his new year clothes...my FYP savior..cos he taught me a lot of IT staff back then. =) but walked for whole day also didn't buy anything...hope he can find the clothes he want soon ba..anyway when i reach home, i realise my feet got blisters....damn pain..but it's still a happy outting today .=) So long nv catch up with my old friends and buddies liao. =)


today was a bad bad day...early morning dress nice nice cos it's Friday!~~then in the end went office work...kana shouted by that stupid old witch twice today...really very very angry...shouted me in front of so many ppl in the office...moreover it wasn't my fault lo?? she just wants to throw her temper at someone..and why am i always the one that kana scolding from her...

when she shouted at me, i really feel like taking up my chair and smackkkkk directly into her face..! damn angry...dun understand why in this world so many ppl die, she just won't die...living in this world waste resources...somemore the heart is black untilllll~~~~~no words can describe..

haiz..sometimes really wonder..is pride more important or money more important...because of that amount of salary, i put up with all the nonsense from these ppl...i put up with their temper..their pushing around of work..their treating me as maids...really very tired..can i dun fight in this battle...however, another side of me tells me to be strong, if i really quit then it'll be really a battle that those evil ppl win...confusing...angry...sad...very "wei qu"...but yet dun know what to do...i just hope that god and heaven can see these and dun let the evil ppl go around bullying ppl...


actually is bullying ppl really that nice or proud to do so? i really dun understand what are they thinking...i only feel tired...my poor boss got shouted by her too...cos she has stay around very long in this company? God..i dun think i'll become like her if i work in a company for 10 over years lo..

haiz haiz and haiz...only feel like sighing...so depressed...but luckily today come home got nice shows to watch..so at least i'm smiling back..and at least talking to my sis helps..=)


sleepy~~it's sat again..resting day=) last night went to meet up andy to watch movie...at first wanted to watch the jay chou cos he got free ticket, in the end cos got no time slot so didn't watch it...then we manage to buy alvin and chipmunks 2! yeah..it was really nice and funny to watch after a day of tiring work=)

anyway..i was very angry with jimmy(my ex temp staff) at work yesterday..cos i felt that it was really irresponsible of him to leave a lot of shit for us..i understand that when u dun like a job, u won't want to do much, but at least you must clarify properly before you leave..if not you'll cause other ppl to "suffer"...if you dun like what you are doing, then all the more ppl won't it if you didn't clear up properly for them..anyways i said very harsh sentences to him and scolded him..really angry...old staff bully me then jialat liao..now a temp, whom i trusted him also do this to his own colleagues..haiz...

argh..dun talk about him liao..today is sat=) dun know should i go back to work..now is already quite late..more and more lazy dun feel like going back to work on weekends...=(

another happy thing=D ling last night sms say want to go holiday or not on feb with jie and yee auntie..but then they all want to go western countries..erm...my experience with more senior ppl is..you must at least have around $1500 if you wanna go those countries ba..cos i dun think the air ticket will be cheap too..erm...but if we really go on a trip i think it'll be fun with them=D...but then must let me have my good night sleep okie..hehe..^.^..lazy pig as ever..


so tired...tristan has been crying for nights..i didn't had a proper sleep for few days...today lunch nearly black out..luckily nothing happen and I managed to work ot muhahhaha...

anyway today mum bring tristan to pray..then in the end, the reason that they say why he keeps crying is because my mum's bedsheet colour is too bright and he's scared? God..really dun know to laugh or what..haha..colour is too bright thats why cry for nights? last night I counted, he almost woke up more than 10 times lo...erm..i dun think i'll cry cos of colourful colours on my bed lo..

hope he doesn't cry tonight and i'll have a good night sleep=)


wo hoo!~~today felt so tired in morning cos of tristan so in the end took leave from sy to sleep till later hour..then afternoon wake up liao, drag my sis to go shopping with me a while..hehe..i bought a few sets of dress and skirt...happy. ^.^...tmr is a working day...must jia you jia you and jia you..cannot give up...

this afternoon watch the show "te xie"...then it was showing ppl with disabilities, how did they overcome they themselves..the hardship that they have gone through. i was thinking..."normal" ppl like us..always complaining about unfairness in life and whatever sad things that happen..but we should be happy that we are already very fortunate to be living in singapore. just wanna give myself one more reason to be happy or to make myself positive when I meet into negative events. =)


so long nv come in to write my blog liao..think it was almost dead..hehe..i'm bored at home...basically every weekend now will just play game, watch TV and rot at home..cannot even sleep in my own room.

life is still the same...work is still stress...everyday at work is like a mental battle...a battle that i dun wish to be involve and wish to avoid it, but arrows will just directly shoot at me...haiz..can't be bothered...if one day things really get so bad maybe I'll just quit and find another job...but being in this job actually teaches me do not be naive, sometimes when you think that the person is good, think twice. Sometimes when you misunderstood some ppl are so fierce, actually they have their own reasons..well.. I've learn to see things in a even more different view..learn to observe in detail even more..but i really thank my supervisor cos she has been teaching and protecting me in a lot of ways. =) my boss too in some way..

relationship wise..sorry that i might have hurt you..but i rather do it now than later..right now, i just wish to be alone, peaceful, with no nonsense and emo thinking in me..work is already very stress...home is not a place for me to rest well..if relationship drags me back, i will have depression i guess..hehe..so i wanna learn how to be independent..how to just tolerate or even get used to everything in my life..baby's crying? more and more used to it cos i got my ear plug...work? can't be bothered much..if you all want to push blame or what just come directly, anyway I'm really so used to it..so lastly i just wish that you'll be happy. =)

friendship: still the same, wishing all my sisters and buddy out there remains happy in life and smile always;) ^.^

Shu Yun
[yunyun]
girl, 19, 17/11/1989
sembawang
Republic Poly


Colors : baby pink, blue, white, red
Foods : as long as they’re nice, I like it..hee
Movies : comedies, romance, philosophical
Idols : my mum..hee..



MSN : Shuyun34@hotmail.com

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